Dreams

In my first post, I mentioned that I've started to remember pieces of my life before I was adopted. Most of the time, the things I remember come to me in dreams.

The first dream I had was a few months ago. It began in a beautiful garden. I was walking with my guardian, who was singing a lovely, peaceful song to help me relax before my afternoon nap. I was two years old. The next time I dreamed about the garden, I was running from a ferocious dragon in my toddler mind, but the "dragon" was actually my dog. In the dream, I turned to look behind me and tripped over a stick on the path. I stumbled, certain the dragon would catch me and eat me now, only to find that my father scooped me up instead of me hitting the ground. He tossed me into the air and kissed me. I remember being so happy to see him, but I can't remember how long he had been gone. It felt like a very long time, like I'd never see him again. Then, he was there, rescuing me. I felt warm and safe in his arms, but he seemed sad, and I didn't understand why. This is the only memory I have of my birth father.

I got in trouble at soccer practice today. I wasn't paying attention to our coach because I was thinking about my birth father. I remember his big, strong hands and coffee colored skin. His scent was fresh like the garden where he rescued me mixed with a subtle, expensive smelling cologne. But, his face is still a mystery. I can vaguely remember his face being smooth and shaved, but I don't remember the features. Coach was asking me to show someone who'd missed last practice a new drill, but I wasn't paying attention. I got assigned 20 laps around the field and had to run while everyone else was practicing. I spent most of the run thinking about my father.

My sister is calling for me to come to dinner. We are having pizza and salad tonight. I hope I can focus on dinner and not daydream anymore!